'Ballad of Undertale Characters'

Your Best Friend

Howdy welcome, my name is Flowey/I will be here for you/Nobody’s here to teach you to do stuff/I guess I’ll have to do

[skip the part used in the intro]

Down in this hole, you will need some LOVEing/lucky for you, I’ve got some/LOVE is shared through these friendliness pellets/go and run into some

What’cha doin’?/Don’t you dodge them/Don’t you want some/special LOVEing?!

OH COME ON HUMAN! I DON’T HAVE ALL DAY!/JUST GO AND TOUCH THE BULLETS!/Did I say “bullets”?/Why would I say that?/I meant “friendliness pellets”!

GAH! I’ve had enough of this!

DIE!

Do not worry, my child. I will take care of this.

What? Oh no. [fire burning transition to ballad of naptsablook]

Ghost Fight

i am not your normal average ghost/i am way more bland than that, than that/people walk by, i just ignore them/i just want to lay down flat

i/am napstablook, but i don’t really care about/what you call me/’cause I wish you weren’t here/because i just want to be left alone/because i just want to be left alone/because i just want to be left alone/please leave so i can listen to music

i have my spooktunes/i have my spookwave/as well as ghouliday/but aside from them/cousin mettaton is always away/he’s my hapstablook/now he’s a robot/so i’ll lie down and wait/guess i will go down to the ruins now/there could be something great

i guess i’ll nap down here for a while

[30 minutes later]

i call it “dapperblook” do you like it?

heh… heh…

goodbye… new frie—

Heartache

WHAT/Are you doing?/Frisk, come over here and fight

Why you sparing me?/I want you to fight/Please stop sparing me/show me all your might/if you want to leave/you have to kill me/wait, that doesn’t sound right

Want to leave the ruins?/please stop sparing me/I am not immune/so stop sparing me/please give me your best and fight like a man, I won’t let you leave

I’m getting tired

Frisk, just stop/go and use your skills

Okay, that’s it!/I give up I will let you through

You seem to be quite the pacifist, true

My child, I will let you out of the ruins, but be careful. There might be skeletons that tell bad jokes, a fish-person with an eyepatch, or even an anime-obsessed dinosaur… thing. Be careful, Remain your pacifist self!

Dogsong

ANNOYING DOG: We are here, it’s time to go and/catch a human now!/We shall unleash all of our/menacing Royal Guardsman hounds!

GREATER DOG: I will disguise as a normal/regular snow poff

DOGAMY: We will get them honey.

DOGARESSA: (‘Course we will, because we’re the best dogs!)

LESSER DOG: I will sneak up on them/I will/take them by surprise/I will keep barking at them/surely, that’ll make them die

DOGGO: If you need a watchdog, you should/really just rely on me/as long as they keep on moving/there is nothing that I/can’t possibly/see

ALL: Look! Here comes the human!/Let’s just bark at him!/If he’s intimidated, it’s easier for us all to win/BARK BARK WOOF BARKBARK BARKBARKBARK!/WOOF WOOF BARKBARKBARK!/BARK BARK WOOF BARKBARK BARKBARKBARK/WOOFWOOFBARK WOOFWOOFBARK BARK BARK WOOF!

LESSER DOG: LOOK EVERYONE! HE HAS A STICK!

ALL: STICK?! FETCH?! PLAY?! PET?!?!?!?!

DOGGO: PETPETPET? PATPATPAT? POTPOTPOT?

[Perhaps mankind was not meant to pet this much]

Bonetrousle

Nyeh-heh-heh-heh-heh/heh-heh-heh-heh/I am Papyrus, and I am the greatest skeleton!/My brother Sans is not really great, but I make him feel good by laughing at his puns

hey bro. what sup? have you checked out this lamp? it’s really cool

YOU KNOW WHAT “SUP”, brother. You’re interrupting my ballad!

but didn’t you already get one in january, though?

SHUT UP SANS, YOU LAZY BONES! ALL YOU DO IS SIT AROUND AND BOONDOGGLE!

hey take it easy. i’ve gotten a ton of work done today. a skele-ton!

SANS!

come on. you’re smiling

I AM AND I HATE IT! NOW GET BACK TO WORK!

hey, i’m just sayin’ maybe this lamp will help you find your human—

SANS YOU’RE NOT HELPING! NOW GET OUT AND LET ME FINISH MY SONG! And as for you work, PUT A LITTLE MORE BACKBONE INTO IT!

Please ignore that, human. Now, where were we? Oh right--

Nyeh-heh-heh-heh-heh/heh-heh-heh-heh/I’m gonna find a human and take him to King Asgore/Not only that, but I will get all the recognition I need, I’m gonna be popular!

But until then, I will keep trying/I will never lose hope, nor will I ever give up/I love my job and my spaghetti/hey, **have you checked out this lamp?/**SANS I TOLD YOU, SHUT UP!

Look, here he comes/I’ll set up my trap/I bet that he won’t get past this electronic maze/OUCH! It zapped me!/you are pretty good, but this trap is only part of my first phase!

You want to battle? Nyeh-heh-heh-heh! YOU’RE BLUE NOW! NOW YOU WILL NEVER—oh, a date? Sure! Let’s go! NYEH-HEH-HEH!!!

they grow up so fast. luckily he’ll never feel BONELY anymore!

Dummy!

You’re so typical, so typical!/It is just like you/to walk right away/I am a ghost inside a dummy/just like my cousin/what’s their name again?/Hey I know you!/You insulted them!/Foolish, foolish fool!/Dummy, dummy, dumb!/I’ll take your soul, cross the barrier/Stand inside a fancy store!

I/am Mad Dummy!/But I don’t really care about/what you call me/Because you’re going to die/because the things you said to my cousin/my cousin/my cousin/You are so feeble, futile, pitiful/pitiful/pitiful/You can’t stop me, I’m incorporeal/-poreal/-poreal/-poreal/You’re gonna spend eternity fighting/wait, what’s this? Acid rain? CRUD, I’M OUT!

sorry. was I interrupting something? aw gee, i just wanted to say hi. well this is awkward. i’m gonna leave now. don’t bother following me…

Spear of Justice

I’m gonna take your soul/you pitiful human/I’ll take it to Asgore/and soon we will all be/free from this underground/we’ll be safe and sound/on you, I’m gonna pound/you may have befriended/Papyrus and Alphys/but you won’t get past me/and you’ll never beat me/because I am the great/Undyne the fish person/even stronger than Gerson/don’t think you’ll just burst in/to Hotland and the Core/Seven humans and their souls/we’ll harness them all whole/to escape from this hole/wait, you know what/screw it, you’re gonna die!/time to go say goodbye/it’ll be easy as pie/as long as you do not—hey I’m still talking/why are you just walking?/COME BACK YOU COWARD!

I’ve had enough of your antics/you’re making me feel frantic/I’ve had enough of this manic/come fight like a man

Come and feel the fear/of my many spears/hey did you just sneer?/that’s it, I’m done!

You’re gonna die, you little rat!/and I don’t even care anymore/this time it’s personal/you’re gonna live no more!/wow, this place is hot/It feels like I’m gonna melt/get that water away, I don’t need your help!

ACK! COUGH! I feel… like a… fish out of water. You… have not seen… the last of… oh thanks. I guess all I needed was some water. If anyone asks, we’re enemies!

Spider Dance

Oh my, dearie!/You forgot to buy any/of our delicious spider pastries/What?/Your/taste/is/too refined for all our goods?

well not tonight

Pay up, and maybe I won’t hurt you/who am I kidding, it’s time for a muffin!/Muf/fin/pet/your/dinner’s on the house tonight

because you don’t

Feel like paying/for our delights/like Spider Donuts and Apple Spider/not/like/you/will/like their taste anyway

You are so rude!

Money, money, money, money, money [repeat]

Ha!/I don’t/Feel like money anymore/instead, I’m pretty hungry/what/shall/I/trap/and eat for dinner tonight?

Maybe human! That sounds real good to me!/good to me/good to me/I shall sauté you with a side of fleas/side of fleas/side of fleas/Oh wait what’s this?/A receipt from the ruins?/From the ruins?/From the ruins?/You paid for donuts and our cider, wow!/You must really like all of our fine foods!

We-e-ell. Forget I did anything bad to you! C’mon boys! With this money, we can buy the most top-notch web in the underground! Hee-hee-hee!

Metal Crusher

Oh hello, human, my name is Mettaton/I’m a star, I’m and idol, I’m a god, I’m a robot

Welcome to the quiz show hosted by Mettaton/there is only one simple rule, you got that?

Answer each correctly, sound simple enough?/but if you do not, you will die, you will perish

Are we all ready? Yes? Great, excellent/let us get started on the quiz!/RIGHT, 3, 2, 1!

Oh, what’s the king’s full name? Tell me!/YES! Correct!/You got it right/But it gets harder as we progress/so get ready for/our next questions

How many letters are in “Mettaton……………..nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn?” NO! WRONG!

YOU ARE SUCH A FOOL! This next one is easy, here it comes, let’s go!

Two trains leave a station: Train A and Train B, each travelling at WHAT NO! YOU IDIOT!

Can’t even answer a simple math equation! Well, here’s an easier one for you

In the dating sim “Mew Mew Kissy Cutie”, what is Mew-Mew’s favorite food?

OH! OH! I KNOW THIS ONE!!! IT'S SNAIL ICE CREAM!!!!!!!! IN THE FOURTH CHAPTER EVERYONE GOES TO THE BEACH!!! AND SHE BUYS ICE CREAM FOR ALL OF HER FRIENDS!!!! BUT IT'S SNAIL FLAVOR AND SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS IT!!!!!! IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS OF THE GAME BECAUSE IT'S ACTUALLY A VERY POWERFUL message about friendship and...

Alphys, Alphys, Alphys. You’re not HELPING our contestant, are you? Ooooooh you should have told me. I’ll ask a question… What’s that human? What’s behind me, you say? A mirror? Right, I have to look perfect for our grand finale! Hmm… I don’t see it… Where is it…?

Did you. Just flip. MY SWITCH?

Death by Glamour

Ohhhh my. If you flipped my switch, that can only mean one thing. You're desperate for the premiere of my new body. How rude... Lucky for you, I've been aching to show this off for a long time. So... as thanks, I'll give you a handsome reward. I'll make your last living moments... ABSOLUTELY beautiful!

Light the stage now/’cause Mettaton’s here/are we ready?/start the cameras/We are ready/In 3, 2, 1/action, let’s start!/The crowd is waiting

Moment you’ve been waiting for/Because Mettaton is here/are you ready for a show/that will put you into tears?/Tonight we’ve got a human fight/and it’ll be quite amazing/he is gonna die tonight/we’ll get awesome ratings

Human, try to bear with me, we are on live TV right now/Try and use some more pizzazz, why you have that Tough Glove? OW!/I know you don’t like fighting, Frisk, at least appeal to crowd/Maybe eat a Glamburger, oh wow, they’re really loud!/Look at these real high ratings! We’re going through the roof/I think I am about to faint/this idea was foolproof!/do you see that? 10,000 views! That’s more than anything/you really helped/thanks very much/you’re no longer gonna die

OOOHHHH YESSS! Human, you are the best when it comes to live TV! Maybe come back again someday. You can help me make a nice cake out of human souls, or maybe even defuse bombs. Until then, ta-ta!

Amalgam

It’s too/creepy/but I/must still/care for/the a/malga/ma-ates/D-don’t/tell this/to the/others/do not/tell Frisk/there is/so much/I must/hide from him/Alphyyyyssssss…/I’m coooolllllld…../Coming/Snowdrake!/JOIN US!/ALPHYS!/Hold on/Mem’ryheads!

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr/Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaat/Endogeny/pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaseeeeeeeeee/waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiitttt/Alfjei/eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee/efghjruphagoni/eeeeeeeeeeeee/iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii/Reaper!/Bird!/Please/Wait!/I’ll/come!/NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO/ALPHYS PLEASE COME OVER TO MY SPECIAL HECK RIGHT NOW!

ALRIGHT ENOUGH! I’m sorry for yelling at you, but there are lots of you I have to take care of! I have to feed Endogeny, warm up Snowdrake, play with the Memoryheads, and do whatever Reaper Bird wants me to do. Quite hard to understand the Reaper Bird… But… I’m sorry… I… have to go back up to my lab! I’ll be right back!

[5 hours later]

[BUT NOBODY CAME!]

ASGORE

I am the/great Asgore Dreemurr/and this time/I will not be spared/You know that I must destroy you/nothing personal/we want to

Leave this hole/so we’ll all prosper/and you’re the/last soul that we need/to escape/from the underground/so please die for me/I asked nice

So then, that is how it is/I understand/you do not want to die/but that’s what I planned/we’ll enter a fight/it will be so grand/Why are you sparing me?/You don’t wanna die/fight me and you won’t/I don’t understand/no, I really don’t/such a pacifist/but that’s really good/but I have no choice/this will not hurt a bit

Oh, I just can’t do it. Human, I am sorry. But there’s no way to make this easier.

[You spare him]

What? After all I did? Why?

Oh you idiots. YOU’RE ALL IDIOTS!

What? Who goes there?

In this world… IT’S KILL OR BE KILLED!!!

Hopes and Dreams

Killed no one?/You coward!/Don’t you know?/It’s kill or be killed

My name’s an/anagram/of the phrase/”serial murderer”

I am the god of hyperdeath/your hopes and dreams will not kill me

Keep on sparing, it will not help/I do not like true pacifists

Hope and dream and hope and dream/you will refuse to die anyway

Please stop sparing, please stop saving/All I want to do is just to…

Chara… stop it! Stop sparing me and saving everyone. JUST… LET ME…

Aaaannd, that’s the end of the video!

Eh? You’re ending it NOW? And such a dramatic moment…?

That's the difficult part. Not the lack of singing. But accepting that it's all over...

But there will be more right?

No. Maybe. Possibly Megalovania, but I’d wait at least 6 months for that. Maybe I can help?

Snoring on the floor won’t help.

I’m not snoring, I’m cheering you in my sleep!!

.. Oh, you're still here? Don't you have anything better to do?

Wrong Enemy !?

Oh, I’m so sorry/I am so late/silly me!

I bumped into you/I’m a klutz/but it’s okay

Let me give something/to make it up/let me look

Sorry I have nothing/but I still have my notebook/I could draw stuff

Oh I’m so sorry/I must’ve made Doodlebogs

Worry not/there’s nothing drawing cannot solve!

With my magic pencil/everything that I draw

It looks amazingly real/Wait, actually too real/No, it is real/It’s a real boat/It actually floats

I am so sorry that your picture took way too long. Here it is! (You think it’s terrible don’t you?) Well I’ll leave you with that thought. Goodbye! See you later! Sayonara! Nice knowing ya! Hasta la vista. … I should leave

Also, congrats on actually finding this video. Good job on clicking that mysterious annotation at the intro of the main video. Let’s just keep this our little secret, alright?